i had such a great time

i will blog about the wedding soon

but for now, here's a pic of one of my wedding presents. it's "naughty dice" [trademarked by yuenching] im sure none of u need the directions to this game...

cookie cutter

i've been putting ben to work ever since he arrived this morning. everyone loves photographing the waterfuall outside. it looks prettier in his photos than it does in reality.

a muddy coloured frog that was sooo lethargic. it didnt move after being poked countless of times so i picked him up and tried to drown him in the water. he crawled right up. for a frog, he didnt seem to like the water that much.
these three are so talented that if u'd just walked in and heard them play, u'd never have realized that they're not at their respective instruments!
last sat gav and i went for his friend's wedding. they looked so happy together . that's what i want too, just to be happy on that day together, appreciating each moment together, not stressed or rushed.
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The term "cookie-cutter", when used as a noun or adjective, can also mean "lack of originality or distinction" ^[1], a reference to the uniformity that results from the use of a cookie cutter.

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the thing i despised most was "being like everybody else" so i went through great lengths to be original. but at the end of the day, i realized that just like everybody else, im getting married because i want to be with this guy I love, forever.

as long as i get to do that, i'll be happy.

thank you all

thank you all
thanks for praying for kavern. he's now at HUKM and hopefully will be operated on soon! here's a photo of him and gavin from 2006....
right now we're praying that his eye will be saved., but most importantly of course is that his life will be saved. thanks for your contributions and prayers and support! God has really blessed us and provided everything we needed...

killing mozzies

that's us decapitating a mozzie. that's one of our favourite things to do [killing mozzies]
everyday we get bitten by these bloodsucking vampire bugs, even after sprayinig on the repellent! they are unafraid! please somebody come up with an idea to kill them!

mundane, everyday.

eating at "chuan" teacheow porridge place in ss14 has always been a regular affair.
the food is relatively cheap and you get a taste something "almost" homemade. plus there's free soup.


we ordered the fried fish with black bean sauce and onions [very tasty] the spinach [i love spinach] and the fried pork. the szechuan style eggplant was really good too with bits of dried shrimp i think.these salty things are perfect with plain porridge.

now for a bit of shameless advertising. right here in our home we have this very eligible bachelor who's not afraid of taking care of his health nor getting his hands dirty helping out around the house! here's terk doing a bit of domestic stuff. he's slicing dragon fruit for us. yummy purple antioxidants! we had it with the dragonfruit enzyme drink here. needless to say the next day we were shitting purple.
speaking of purple, these are random shots by matt.this strawberry flavoured wheaty cereal made the milk all sweet and pink. yummy.
walter sleeping.

tokyo nights

Rachel JUST sent me the pics and i JUST COULDN'T WAIT to share them on my blog!!!!
this one was taken while billions of mozzies were swirling around our ankles

the title has nothing to do with anything. just a song from utada hikaru that's playing in my head.
I was telling gav about how my friends think he's really great and he said "what's the use. not like i can make money out of it"

on the contrary! it says in proverbs 22:1
A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.

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this new blog is harder to maneuver than MSN spaces. im such a HTML dummy

i've moved blogs

here's my new home.

dont ask why.
im bad at HTML and haven't a clue about how to make this space look 'me"
i just had to run away from stalkers at the old place. im sure some of u might understand.

wedding posts

I'm so blessed to have a team of great people who gave of themselves and their time and their talent in helping me out!!!

i love you all!!! {muaks}

here're the lovely angels hard at work.

this pretty elf is surely in the running for "homemaker of the year' award.

charlene made yummy hotdogs for lunch. the macho hairy guy in the blue shirt made himself very useful as well, helping to stir the cookie batter and ferry my mum around that day.

the ooi bros surely put their muscles into good use!

look at him go!!

cookie cutting time! I didn't have to tell them what to do. it's as if they magically acquired the skills!

sealing team at work!

thank you ALL for helping us out!! I don't know what I would've done without you girls! [and 3 guys] :D

I hate going to KL because it's so congested, noisy, polluted and crowded. this day was no exception... but we had to go there to buy more wedding stuff. the KTM we tried to take was stalled 4 times and it took us an hour to get there from subang!

sigh. anyway this is the place to go to get cloth and wedding stuff.

lotsa lotsa shops selling the same things!!

bunga reben. my fav shop to buy ribbons, beads and sewing stuff.

i want an arch like this, does anyone know where to get one? please!?

I like malay wedding gowns SO much better than those from Chinese shops. really!! they're the only ones who can make gowns that don’t reveal the shoulders/arms. they make the bride look so elegant and sweet without having to reveal too much skin. i couldn't even find ONE evening gown in a chinese owned bridal boutique or formal gown boutique that covered my arms and i don't like revealing my arms! those strapless/sleeveless ones are only suitable for those skinny/ thin girls and i couldn't find anything suitable although i went to so many shops. so in the end i opted for a bespoke dress.

all those chinese salesgirls tried to tell me that i MUST wear a strapless gown in order to look elegant and it's absolutely necessary and if i don’t i'll look bad. but the fact is that you CAN look elegant and attractive without having to reveal too much flesh!

bukit bintang at night. so many people. so much commercialism and consumerism and hedonism. gav and i agreed we'd had enough of those to last a month!

idiosyncrasies

I knew gav was a hoarder bfore i said "i will" but i didnt know he was a real life monica [from friends]

we were putting on his bedsheet today and as i was about to tuck the edges under the mattress, he stopped me and said we have to flip it. but why??? i thought.

apparently the motif on the sheet had teddy bears on the ground and stars in the sky and he says that when you walk into the room and see the bears, they have to be at the "bottom" of the bed, where he puts his feet because obviously the stars are up in the sky where his head is!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he says he doesn't want to see an upside down bear!!

if you were to ask me what is the single most influential thing on my views toward weddings/marriage it would have to be this chapter in one of my favourite books, "little women" by Louisa May Alcott.

In many ways, I see myself in Meg most of all. Perhaps a little rebellious like Jo, homely like Beth, maybe a bit vain like Amy. but most of all, Meg. a romantic at heart, trying to be responsible as an eldest daughter should, loving yet sometimes selfish.

"Meg had spent the time in working as well as waiting, growing womanly in character, wise in housewifery arts, and prettier than ever; for love is a great beautifier. She had her girlish ambitions and hopes, and felt some disappointment at the humble way in which the new life must begin. Ned Moffat had just married Sallie Gardiner, and Meg couldn't help contrasting their fine house and carriage, many gifts, and splendid outfit, with her own, and secretly wishing she could have the same. But somehow envy and discontent vanished when she thought of all the patient love and labour John had put into the little home awaiting her; and when they sat together in the twilight talking over their small plans, she felt herself the richest, happiest girl in Christendom."

"...Meg looked very like a rose herself for all that was best and sweetest in heart and soul seemed to bloom in to her face that day, making it fair and tender, with a charm more beautiful than beauty. Neither silk, lace, nor orange flowers would she have. 'I don't want to look strange or fixed up to-day,' she said; 'I don't want a fashionable wedding, but only those about me whom I love, and to them I wish to look, and be, my familiar self.'"

"...and Meg opened her arms to her sisters, who clung about her with April faces for a minute, feeling that the new love had not changed the old"

"I'm not a show, aunty, and no one is coming to stare at me, to criticize my dress, or count the cost of my luncheon. I'm too happy to care what anyone says or thinks, and I'm going to have my little wedding just as I like it."

after the wedding, Sallie [the rich girl] commented to her husband:

"That is the prettiest wedding I've been to for an age, Ned, and I don't see why, for there wasn't a bit of style about it..."

dont you just LOVE MY INVITES!!!!! Rachel's design!!! wheeee!!!!

there are some times when you're all pumped up and full of bubbly cheery "happy" and can think of 101 reasons to feel alive.
others, you're too tired to try to convince yourself that u should be happy.

this is one of the latter times. [don't continue reading if you're not interested in listening to me feeling sorry for myself]

ever since i was ...maybe 15-16, i knew i wanted a garden wedding. i had it all planned in my mind... fairy lights, candles, flower petals, organza drapes.
pink and brown flags. when gavin made a proposal i couldn't refuse, it was all finally coming to reality, all these dreams and fantasies.
i wanted a small, intimate and personal wedding, surrounded only by our closest friends who truly loved and cared about us.

so, i wanted 2 things
1. small, intimate, personal
2. garden

however the parents wanted a huge dinner where you invite every single person you'd met ever since you were born. so, to reconcile these 2 differing expectations, we decided to have 2 celebrations. one, the ceremony that would be in a garden, with only120 of our closest friends. all the other people who didn't konw us personally and who'd only come to give my parents "face" would go to the chinese dinner. this sounded like a plan that would suit both our wishes. so we had a "friend" who said we could use his garden. i thought everything was so perfect and i was so happy about it.

little did i konw that a few months later he'd go completely insane and was absolutely uncontactable for weeks. phone off, didnt reply emails although i emailed asking about things and telling him about our plans to have a meeting to plan the wedding. absolutely nothing. this person wouldn't talk t anyone at all so we realized he was not going to return to be our "friend" about 2 mths before the wedding.
as the malays say,

"kalau nak tolong pun, hati tak ikhlas" [translation: whats the use of your good deeds if your heart is not sincere nor willing?]

i wasn't about to spend the most impt day of my life at someone's house who isnt willing and doesn't even want to act civil to me, much less be a helpful and willing friend. i didnt want to spend the whole day thinking about how he's probably sulking somewhere in a corner. it would totally ruin the experience for me.
so we sought another place.
but since it was in such short notice all the places with gardens had been fully booked for the next 10 mths.

finally we found a place.... that looked good. although it was an expensive place, we quickly paid the deposit for fear of losing it...because this garden wedding meant so much to me. gavin just wanted to grant me this one thing that was so close to my heart... i really really wanted a garden wedding, so much.

but when we finally went there to see the "Garden" we found that it was nothing more than gravel and sand, with no grass. it was so ugly.
dejected, we settled for having it indoors inside the restaurant after all. but really...if we'd known we would've just settled for church coz it wasn't gonna be a garden anyway but we'd already paid the deposit, and printed the invitations so what could we do?

so now, we have to pay for 2 expensive dinners, but still no garden.
if we'd known earlier that all this was gonna happen, we would've just settled for having it in church, at least it would've been cheaper... all this has sent our expenditure through the ROOF.

sigh.................

all i wanted was a simple garden wedding... i didn't want to be extravagant so i opted for very budget things..my dress costs only RM200, we didnt opt for a studio photography package bcoz it was too expensive...my shoes, only RM24.90. i wanted a simple garden thing that didnt cost much ... and yet, it was not to be. a series of bad bad bad decisions, trusting the wrong people.............
now we're going to end up spending more than the average malaysian chinese couple's wedding.

feel so tired and so frustrated and so fed up of it all right now.

throughout the hard times in the many months leading up to the wedding, Gavin's always been there with me, feeling my joy and my pain and my frustrations. throughout all of it he was always supportive and encouraging and reassuring, and its so good knowing that there's that one person who wants to make me happy. I know God will still come through for us despite all the setbacks and at the end of it all, im' really really thankful that i'm marrying gavin. that to me is already the most priceless thing ever...
and no one makes me happier than he does.

i will be rejoicing on that day, not bcoz the decorations looked perfect or that the people are enjoying themselves eating caviar canapes, but bcoz i'm marrying the best husband i could ever dream of.

the mourning is for one of the carps in the pond who passed away today. the tadpoles starting eating its flesh. poor Fabian the fish. he was a good fish....

anti commercialist wedding

1. prepare for the circumstances you didn't prepare for

2. give each other personal space to do your own stuff otherwise nothing will get done!

3. keep reminding oneself that it is not a "show" nor is it an opportunity to "show off" your "riches" or whatever. I started out with this mindset but later the media, magazines, Internet sites, mum, family members and friends kept drumming the idea into my head that I've to get the best, the most expensive, be the most beautiful I can be, image image image, what will people think??

I wanted to wear this simple pearl necklace that was probably RM25 but mum insisted that I HAD to get something expensive instead.

I wanted to have a simple dress but my aunt was convinced that I'd be making a HUGE mistake because expensive is BETTER! she was SOO concerned that out of her concern she decided to take me out shopping for an expensive dress.

the truth is, who'd be looking at my necklace or judging my dress? it's a celebration of our love and i want THAT to stand out more than anything else.

all this commercialism and consumerism has taken away from the real meaning of the wedding day, which is to pledge one's love for the other, as long as one lives. I imagine that many brides spend the whole day thinking "do i look perfect?? do i look fat? is my makeup alright?" instead of revelling in the romance of the moment.

Gav and I have decided to enjoy this day to the fullest, and take our time to enjoy it, in the way that we'd most enjoy it. I wont force myself into an uncomfortable, too tight gown or a tight corset or be worried about whether my hair will get messed up if people hug me. I won't wear too-high heels that i can't walk properly in. I want to be completely comfortable and completely at ease so I can move about and enjoy myself as I please. I won't be stressed out about what my guests about not serving alcohol. "how can? later people will say you're not high class" - said my dad. who cares? people are not here to criticize my dress or the food.

also, I won't let anything spoil my mood for the day. no matter what happens, nothing can take away from the most impt fact that we're celebrating, namely the fact that gavin and i love each other and we're going to declare that in front of our family and friends. so, even if any "unforeseen" circumstance occurs, we'll carry on and be happy.

p.s. this dress was made by a very talented tailor, miss kee from happy garden. it's not keith kee, but i'm perfectly happy with it.