I'm listening to

this is my favourite Christmas album in the last few years. I just love their version of "Don't save it all for Christmas day" and "We are the reason". Their medley of familiar carols like "O Come O Come Emmanuel/Away in a Manger/O Little Town of Bethlehem" is really really beautiful too.

it's been a painful week [literally]

first I slammed the door into my thumb which was a major major major painful experience, I thought my thumb had been pulverized! try having to play piano with a sore thumb! now I know how those garlic pips feel when i crush them with my cleaver.

then i twisted my neck in a way i shouldn't have and now it hurts to turn to look right. and i can't even straighten my head so everyone i meet think I'm looking at them sympathetically all the time.

not to mention the ongoing cough that started before the wedding and is still going on now. i've already finished 3 bottles of cough syrup.

hope this string of events end here.

why I dont like to eat out anymore

prices of everything have gone sky high. nowadays you can't spend less than RM4 eating out unless you just have a beefburger, no drink, no fries. places like the chicken rice shop are so overpriced you feel so ripped off eating the chicken rice [and wishing you had gone to a hawker place for that]. not to mention gloria jean's, charging RM3.50 for a muffin! and portions are so small. we went to mandy's in summitt and ordered our main courses that were served in very big dishes but we were still hungry after eating because the portions were tiny. okay maybe they're enough for girls on a diet but it's so not worth our money, with tax and drinks added you find yourself spending smtg like RM20 per head for a meal that was not so filling and not very balanced. you seldom have proper veggies when eating out, and way too much salt and oil. I think if you want to have too much salt and oil, just come over and i'll cook for you, at least it's cheap salt and oil! ahhahaha kidding.

anyway, last night i made a sausage and mash with onion gravy and salad dinner for 5 with the cost coming up to a total of RM15, which probably could only buy ONE meal if you had the same thing as dave's deli, and the portions would've been a lot smaller.

-to use less oil, bake/broil the sausages instead of frying [less cleaning up too]
-instead of adding butter to the mashed potatoes, just add milk and seasoning. you won't really taste the difference since there'll be gravy anyway

giving to God

i've a lot to learn from a guy i once met. we didn't part ways that amicably but now I've good memories of him and I hope someday in future we can be friends again.

He said that people are the best investments ever. He has a lot of money so he gives a lot of away to others, to the needy,to his friends, to strangers. I know his parents do the same. Wow.

We know that God saw us people as the best investment ever. He gave His Son to die so we could all be saved. we all know that to give to the needy is giving to God. but is it really because God NEEDS our money? [or time or skills or watever?]

in this time of "economic downturn", should our response be to give give and give still? apparently God thinks so. Ps Mal says God works in a different economical sphere. by grasping to our lives, we'll lose it, but if we give of it freely, we'll gain even more than what we hoped for. how does that work?

*by the way, i dont really know what it means when people say "times are bad"

times have always been bad in malaysia as far as i know. even from when i was born! i dont think times have ever been good in my lifetime, so as far as i'm concerned nothing's changed.

anyway, from

2 Corinthians 9

Sowing Generously

6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9As it is written:
"He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever." 10Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. 11You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

--------------------------

looking back at the past year I can see how God has worked in my life, despite how certain things did not turn out the way i wanted. for eg. the wedding. things did not work out the way we planned but it worked out EVEN BETTER!!
gavin and I didn't know how we were going to afford a place to stay and a car but God's provided both those things AND more!
I'm so glad we have a BIG God to trust in.

I've learnt that by giving, we're not really giving so that someone can be helped. [ok maybe i might be wrong here and someone will comment on this post arguing with me on that] yes that IS an effect of our giving but God owns the whole world and doesn't NEED the 2 cents that we give but giving changes us. and that's why we have to give...so that we allow Him to change our hearts and make His Kingdom and His people our treasure.


For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matt 6:21

parenting

I'm no parent but i know a fair bit about kids since I deal with them every moment of my work.
I've some kids with such good attitudes toward people and learning that they shine every single time i see them. they appreciate the music, the time spent with their parents in class, and they do their best. even if they're not inherently "talented", they do very well.

I can also tell when a kid is giving his/her best and when the kid is just plain uninterested/lazy/uninvolved.

for example,take Daphne* who's never had any initiative or even an attention span to begin with. she's lazy and spoiled and her mothers makes it so much worse by allowing her to control both the mum and dad. all she has to do when she wants to get out of doing anything remotely useful is scrunch up her face and pretend to cry. at ONCE her silly and affected parents cave in to her desires and immediately say "it's okay darling, you're doing a great job, you're the best in the world! mummy won't scold you anymore okay sweetie? will you forgive mummy?" this was after her mum tried to get her to listen to me showing them how to play a new song. wow. so, if she doesn't want to listen, her mum apologizes for trying to help her listen? reminds me of Gwen from Malory towers.

she's not been able to play anything for mths now but her silly mum still hasn't wizened up and is throwing her money down the drain. all 9 of the other kids are now able to play both hands for this new song but she still can't play even ONE hand and doesn't know where "Do" is although we've already learnt it 8 mths ago. this is what happens when the parent doesn't discipline the kid at all! even when i try to help correct her, she doesnt want to play and if i try to take her hand to show her, she pretends to cry and buries her face in her mum's chest. when all the kids are singing in front she just goes back to her mum halfway through when she feels like it! she has absolutely no respect for authority at all. then, when i get all the other kids to perform in front and she can't, she cries and runs to mummy again. sobbing that she can't play like the other kids. never did it occur to her that it's her own fault that she can't play.

in the same class, another girl, Marjorie* is always always cheerful, and happy to come to class, she tries her best and althugh she may not get it right the 1st time, she does the 2nd! her mum is encouraging but not smothering. she listens to me and does what I ask. although only 4 years old her attitudes toward other people and learning are way way way more mature than Daphne!


*names have been changed for obvious reasons

the wedding part 2

gav arrived first because he had to go hunt for his missing coat! damien's car looked smashing!
for wedding favors, each guest were given a little bag of heart shaped cookies, either one BIG one, or 2 smaller ones, representing one Big God, and 2 of us joined in holy matrimony. these cookies were baked by all my very special girls from CBC!

now one thing that i really really am so grateful to God for is that we had perfect weather. i was worried that it would rain bcoz it was raining in subang and the weather forecasts said heavy thunderstorms! here's the forecast for that day, "snapped" by munkeong bcoz he believed that God would do a miracle.



in fact it was nice and cool when it was time to start! and no mozzies coz they'd JUST fogged the area. i loved my chuppah [jewish wedding canopy arch thing] that was made by gavin using poles and cement and flower pots and organza. Ben helped to set it up and my friends sewed on flowers and put fairy lights on.

it was so pretty and one of a kind! according to jewish tradition, we were supposed to stand under it but we ended up standing beside it instead.

damien was waiting at the hotel's entrance for us and while were in his car driving to the venue he called kelvin saying "the hawk has landed". i felt really excited and nervous at the same time. when we pulled in and i saw the place for the first time i was so so so overwhelmed at how beautiful everything was and how great everyone looked! although there was no grass it looked so cool because of a beachy themed thing with the sand and all. the sweet pink flags waved gently in the breeze.

i was so glad that some of my guests complied to my pink and brown dress code and that really made eveyrthing look so sweet and happy! i was so excited to get out of the car and see everyone
my dad went to wait at the wrong place so we had to call him over to start walking from here!
most people look at the bride when she walks in but i think seeing the groom's expression during this time is really special
walking down the aisle with my dad was a surreal experience. everyone was looking at me and i didn't know whether i was supposed to smile, or look solemn like those other brides i've seen do. in the end i just smiled and smiled bcoz i was so happy and so overwhelmed with joy. it was so much fun. I wasn't brief on "walking down the aisle etiquette" so i didnt think it was inappropriate for me to whisper to kimkim "this is so much fun!" while i walked past her. hey, everyone's smiling at you. it's not nice to just go by without saying hi right??
one thing that struck was how short it was! i mean, these few seconds are probably what a bride thinks of and anticipates most about her wedding and yet it's over within a few seconds. in a blink of an eye, you're at the front! and your dad is giving you away!
my dad was quite happy to do so. here's the handover.
then we worshiped God, singing one of my favourite songs "made me glad"


then pastor mal talked about marriage and how we will now interact with the world in a different capacity. although we are 2 individuals, we have become one unit. how we will live and die for each other.

and then, the moment!

just looking into his eyes i felt an overwhelming joy. it was such a beautiful and meaningful moment. after 4 years of courtship, here we are, at the culmination of our time together. through all those years we had to spend apart, all the hardships, all the heartaches, all the missing each other, all the joyful reunions and tearful goodbyes, we were finally here, at the altar, about to pledge our lives to each other before God.

here i am, marrying the man i love so much. I couldn't help but tear up! and apparently, so i was told, so did a few of my friends!

the rings symbolize the promises we made to each other, to love in times of sickness and health, for better or for worse. to encourage, to support, to comfort, to cherish.


after that was the lighting of the unity candle. ours looked so DIY because they were DIY. we could've gotten very elegant ones from teddy tales or something but somehow i just didnt think of it. it never occured to me that i could've gotten them ready made!

adeline tied the pink ribbon on and terk gave me suggestions on how to tie the ribbons on the others. the rhinestones were glued on with UHU glue.
the 2 candles represents us as individuals, and the big one represents that we've now become one.
and then it was time for gav to do his thing !

and then we're married! for the recessional, our guests in the aisles threw pink flowers at us. i was really happy. i couldnt stop smiling. later my cheeks ached.

it was funny coz after walking out, we had to walk back in again to pose for photos.
ok this is the end of part 2! part 3 will come later.

the wedding part 1

a whole month after the wedding and I realized I need to write about all my thoughts on that event so that I have it immortalized before I start to forget! God gave us so much more than we ever ever hoped or dreamed of. only last year I was thinking of how I wanted my wedding to be and I thought it would be impossible to have a really meaningful wedding full of our closest friends helping us out since Gavin's been away for years and they dont really know him but just seeing how our church family have come alongside us to make this day so truly beautiful really touches my heart so much! I wanted a garden wedding and I thought it would be impossible finding a beautiful place but my team of friends made it so much more beautiful than I ever thought possible! the sand on the ground made it look beach-themed. the chuppah with the pink cloth and fairy lights and little sakuras sewn on looked smashing! yes, most things were DIY and to me that meant so much more bcoz it means there were loving, caring people involved. some things just cannot be bought with money.

one thing gavin and i felt so strongly about was that we wanted it to be meaningful, and we didn't want to buy into that whole commercialist/marketing ploy that since it's your wedding, you ought to spend the most money and buy the most expensive things.

the fanfare started on the Thursday before the wedding when we had the hen's night, it was somewhat of a girly themed party with everyone wearing dresses.

everyone
looked so pretty! some brought nice gifts for me. some were kinky gifts, some were perfectly innocent ones.

and we had tea with scones and other tea time treats although it was an evening party. the food was really yummy and although it was "dinner"time we had cakes and cookies and ice cream. haha.

by now my overseas guests had arrived so it was really like a fun reunion, leon arrived from brisbane, ben from hobart, adele from singapore and albert from the UK.
the moment Ben arrived he was put to work, he had to draft out the master schedule for the day for me because i was panicking and stressing but still getting nothing done.
they took the daunting task of baking the wedding cake out of my hands. i was so tired i gave them the recipe from donna hay and ingredients and i went to take a nap. when i woke up, the butter cakes were ready!
the next day we had the wedding rehearsal at church, then to petaling st to buy the flowers for the bouquet, i LOVED how auntie uma made my RM18 [total!] worth of flowers look like these
petaling st was tiring though! it was jammed like mad. still we shopped around a bit and rachel pressured me into buying more lingerie. i also bought the white shoes for the wedding day [these are the 4th pair of shoes i'd bought for the wedding, long story!]
i had to wear flats because heels hurt my feet so so much and i wanted to be completely comfortable for the wedding so that I'd enjoy this day to the fullest instead of being sucked up into a tight and heavy dress, my feet bound up into tight uncomfortable shoes and feeling like i can't wait for it to be over. i wanted this day to be most "fun" and relaxed instead of stuffy. and I wanted to walk around freely without having to be encumbered by my shoes.

when we got home i was so knackered. gav brought our overseas guests to buy dinner at the ramadan bazaar but there were only leftovers left. albert serenaded us in the living room with his violin since i wouldnt get to hear him the next day. soon after the cell members arrived to start decorating the car. it took HOURS to decorate the car! here's the toyota after their hard work. poor damien had to drive it in to work like this on that day! hehe

i got the idea from a martha stewart magazine from 1999. as for the car, unlike most other people i didn't quite care what car i came in, really. the wedding was not an opportunity for me to "Show off" anything or how rich i am. in fact since im not rich there would be nothing to show off anyway. i decided on damien for the driver since he likes driving and so we used his own car since it's the most practical thing, after all he'd be most comfortable driving his own car right?

meanwhile i still hadn't decorated the wedding cake!! it was already friday night, less than 24 hours before the wedding! i am really the most disorganized bride ever and i kept procrastinating and being lazy so finally Ben and Adeline decided to take things into their own hands and decorated the cake themselves. it was a small round butter cake with 2 layers and jam in the middle, covered with sugar paste icing. Look!!
it was the top white cake that they made, all the little chocolate ones were made by my mum.
they did a wonderful job!! before this I'd looked at some very beautiful cakes from shops like choffles and so on but they were all within the price ranges of RM400-RM1400 which seemed extravagant to me. this one's entirely homemade by my friends/mum and that made it even more special.

Saturday -the big day!!
the whole day started out pretty normally, I woke up in my own bed at home in SS17.
I was so dead tired the night before but today I couldn't sleep in although I tried . so i called fanyin and asked if her dad could take me along to go to uncle hong teck's house [hereafter known as "the house"] At the house, everyone had assembled, matt and yuenching, munkeong and suetbeng, ben and adeline, auntie uma, rach, fanyin and reb, and of course terk too. Gav was nowhere in sight though!
when he finally turned up he shoved his scuffy shoes at me with some shoe polish and told me to polish them. I didn't really polish them properly though! still they looked okay.


meanwhile, the flowers were in the fridge and all the "props" were lined up in a row by the door ready to be whisked away. the house was very busy with lots of people bustling in and out, auntie allison even made an appearance. the atmosphere was very busy and noisy and cheery,
I however was in a bit of a daze and wondered if I should go along too but auntie uma strictly forbade that and so off they went!

the house suddenly seemed so quiet and lonely after they left and I had a few moments of quiet to myself. I sat down with a cup of coffee and looked at the leftover durian puffs in the fridge that fanyin had bought the day before. i hate durian. but my mum loves them so i gave them to her. I took a shower upstairs and waited for mum to take me to the nail salon nearby to have my nails done. [it's called "WOMEN FACE AND BODY", which i told the proprietor, was not a good name. it's a little shop next to leonco hardware on bakuteh row]
I chose to have a french manicure.
the plan was for my dad to take me to novotel to dress up but he took the wrong way and we got stuck in a jam for 2 hours! if only my dad had consulted gavin on this but when i asked him before if he knew the way, he kept assuring me that he did!! the fact was that he knew the old way. i was getting so stressed and worried while being stuck in the car and it looked like we wouldn't get there on time and the photographers and makeup artist were there already!!

meanwhile my wonderful team were decorating the place and making it spiffy. about 4pm
gavin decided to walk to where we were stuck [hang tuah] from jln kia peng to come get me. he really IS my knight in shining armour! there i was, in the car stressing away and at the pudu jail intersection i saw him coming toward me braving through the heavy traffic! he came and opened the door and told me to come along with him. so, there we went, in our sweaty tshirts with me carrying the dress and veil in paper bags walking through jln imbi and going through the back way, past pavillion and into novotel. i was SO glad to see him!

at the hotel, munkeong and suetbeng were just leaving as i arrived and i remember how happy i was to see his pink shirt and brown tie!! it's so perfect. soon, the makeup artist got busy.
and so did the photographers. i quickly hung the veil up on the lamp so that the wrinkles would go off, and my friends got busy too. while i was having my makeup done they [including gavin] were getting ready too. dad showed up awhile later saying that the moment i left the car the jam eased up!

while getting ready in the room terk assured me he was already dressed but when i turned around he looked like this
some of the others were waiting to shower, and gav got ready too. that western superstition on how the groom's not supposed to see the bride at all on the wedding day was totally lost on us!

anyway so after i finished the makeup gav put the veil on

then he realized that his suit wasn't there! apparently matt had taken it, so the boys went down to go to the venue. meanwhile the evening started out for our guests with some classical pieces by dr phang, our violinist. he played beautifully and with lots of "expression".
i hope the guests enjoyed it, even if they were not musically inclined, im sure the whole atmosphere was one of serene sweetness and makes one feel "OOohhh this is so nice!!". i wanted the whole feel of this thing to be sweet, fun, relaxed, meaningful, elegant but not expensively, ostentatiously glamourous.
the place looked just fantastic!! i get really happy when i see a lot of pink!
while waiting, my girls and i posed a little in the hotel room.

then it was time to go.
That piece of paper i'm holding is rachel's printed schedule for all of us!
meanwhile the guys were having their own bit of fun
thengyik's the highest! terk's feet are the highest but that's only coz he bent them, hehe. ben looks like he's being sucked up by an alien spaceship
ok this is the end of part 1, part 2 will come later!